It’s the NBA 2K League Finals tomorrow, with sixth-seeded Heat Check Gaming going up against eighth-seeded Knicks Gaming. So we asked ourselves, who’s the fairest of them—no, who’s the finest at really, really niche superlatives?
NBA 2K League Finals Finest Hair Gel Customer… “iamadamthe1st”
The man does so many interviews that he needs to make sure his hair is on point. New York demands style and panache, and Kudda’s got it in gobs… of hair gel, at least. The hair gel companies are happy, and, frankly, so are the Knicks, the way he’s playing. Would he have been #1 on the Operation Sports’ Player Power Rankings heading into the postseason if his hair couldn’t remain unflappable under his hat? I happen to know the fellow who wrote that, and he tells me that it’s unlikely.
NBA 2K League Finals Finest Finger Wagger… “IdrisDaGoat”
This should need zero explanation. Now shhh, and keep reading.
NBA 2K League Finals Finest Studio Cake-Topper… “Sharpshooterlos”
We all remember the Heat’s most emotional win of the season, over Celtics Crossover Gaming, at whose end ‘Los’ was up on the stage’s so-called “cake” making it quite clear who had won the game. He’s probably not the cake-topper you’re looking to have on your wedding cake, but let’s be real, ‘Los’ could destroy those little plastic figurines in 2k. He’s destroyed them in winning this award, at least.
NBA 2K League Finals Finest Go-Pro Porting Perambulator… “FamousEnough”
The Miami Heat makes sure their content is on point. There was a period where Famous was striding around behind his players with a Go-Pro strapped to his chest. The paternal instinct is appreciated, but even the camera might get tired of seeing Hotshot score fifty thousand gazillion million points every game. It certainly wouldn’t be unhappy to see a Finals win, though.
NBA 2K League Finals Finest Nuclear Physicist …
I really have no idea, but if anyone does please let me know. That would be a very interesting interview.
NBA 2K League Finals Finest Flashy Phalanx … will be decided tomorrow
Translation: the team that earns their championship rings. I’m going with the cop out here, because the Finals are drawing nigh. But man, is that championship going to feel sweet for both teams.